3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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