We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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