The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
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We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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