he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize