Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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