Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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