Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize