I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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