The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize