She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize