Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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