I wannas sexs uuuuu
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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