I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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