how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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