Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize