you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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