Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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