this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
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All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
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I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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