So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
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Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
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YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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