Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
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We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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