Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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