worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I deserve this hangover.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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