people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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