return my video game
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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