oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
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I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
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So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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