Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i will never coherently bang her
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
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i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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