Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
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I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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