I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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