Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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