Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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