WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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