Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize