i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We're too hungover to prance.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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