she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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