Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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