i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize