Having a random hookup so left but love u
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize