It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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