If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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