my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize