shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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