tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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