I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize