What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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