the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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