Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You made out with two different species that night
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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