so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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