sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
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Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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