I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
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Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
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You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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