Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Come on in and take your pants off
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